The Dreaded Teacher Auction

Last night was the dreaded teacher auction. I´m just glad it´s over with. Over the course of the evening, I learned two things: 1. It´s much more fun to watch an auction than actually be a part of it, and 2. I apparently can´t get a real date even when I´m being sold as one. Let me explain.

First of all, the party was such a popular place, there was a long line outside of people waiting to get in. I had volunteered to cashier the bar, (there were two, so I was working with Liz behind the beer bar) and we were plenty busy all night. Before the party started, we drew names to determine the order we would be auctioned off. I was super excited to draw #10 out of 10, figuring people would have time to get warmed up and be less inhibited, and I might have a chance of making some money. Then Alayne kindly pointed out that all the good bidders could have run out of money by then, so then I was back to being extremely worried.

Watching the auction itself was hilarious. So that people could see us, we had to step up onto a table and into a spotlight. I tried to remember my sister´s advice that she ripped off from Tyra Banks: Be fierce. Unfortunately, the table was short, so there wasn´t much room to be fierce. Once I was up there, there was the question of now what? What do you do with yourself while standing on a table, waiting to be sold? Luckily, the lighting wasn´t great, so no one could see how red I was getting. I could feel my face getting hotter and hotter, and afterwards, I had to fan myself constantly to cool down. Anyway, I´m happy to report that I was not, in fact, the low bid. I probably had about 5 different people bid on me, (3 of whom I had never seen before, so apparently using Maribeth´s hair straightener worked) so I was relieved about that. In the end, I sold for 90 soles (bidding started at 20) to David, the boyfriend of Julie, one of the other professors. He was pretty much just trying to get the bidding up, but was too rich for the Peruvians. In fact, out of 10, only 3 people were sold to Peruvians, and one of them was Peter, whose Peruvian girlfriend bought him, so that doesn´t really count. They started the bidding, but always seemed to stop after 50 or 60 soles. David told me I could take whoever I wanted to dinner. I´m taking Maribeth, since she´ll be helping me move tomorrow.

It was an interesting night, to say the least. I guess I should be relieved. I wasn´t the low bid, and I don´t have to suffer through an awkward date with someone who calls me "teacher" the whole time. Although Maribeth said she can be awkward if I don´t want to miss out on the awkward date experience. I think I´ll pass.